I joined a group tour after travelling the world solo for 20 years – and fell in love

A few things fill me with dread: forced fun, Trump supporters and the tyranny of small talk. Unfortunately, if you join an organised group trip, it’s possible you’ll encounter all three, as I quickly realised within hours of the first day on a 12-day tour of Sri Lanka booked through one of the group travel companies operating out of the UK, Australia, Canada and the USA.

I’d signed up as part of an assignment on the rise of group travel, choosing Sri Lanka because – in more than 20 years of solo trips to places such as Georgia, India and Colombia – the teardrop island had somehow eluded me.

Aside from the occasional beach break with friends or family, I’m happiest travelling alone, for long stretches of time, in places that feel entirely removed from the UK, where I grew up. But I was curious: why were group tours more popular than ever? Particularly among millennials, such as myself. So, I signed up to one, which I planned to bookend with a few solo days in Colombo at the start, and a couple of weeks at the end to travel independently around parts of the country the tour would miss.

Read more: Sri Lanka travel guide: Everything to know before you go

Escaping the UK’s chilly March days in 2024, I touched down in Sri Lanka to the balmy heat I so adore; the magic of the island was evident immediately. It’s a country where picture-perfect coconut palms punctuate much of the coastal stretches; life feels much slower in pace; bright-white Buddhist stupas rise majestically out of the jungle; and there are endless idyllic beaches to explore. Not to mention, the myths and legends of ancient kingdoms quickly captured my imagination.

Over the next 12 days, I was in the company of five women and four men – the majority from the USA, along with a few Brits and an Australian, all aged from early 30s to late 40s – and our tour guide, Suranga. He showcased the very best of his country with unrivalled passion, deep knowledge and unwavering patience.

We zipped from Negombo and its famed fish market up to the incredible ancient city of Polonnaruwa, down through Haputale and Ella (home to the iconic Nine Arch Bridge), and later enjoying a safari in Yala National Park – where leopards and sloth bears are often spotted – before spending the night in historic Galle Fort, and later ending up on the beaches of Kosgoda.

Throughout the whirlwind tour, Suranga’s dry, occasionally under-the-breath humour hinted he’d seen it all before. When some of my fellow travellers asked inane questions, such as whether sunscreen would be necessary that day, he paused, smiled, and answered without a flicker of irritation. I found myself captivated as much by his measured reactions as I was by the landscapes.

On day eight we took a dusty drive through Yala National Park, where I delighted in spotting all manner of exquisite birds, from blue-tailed and little green bee-eaters to pied kingfishers and Asian paradise flycatchers. Then that evening, as I was returning to my bedroom following a group dinner, I dropped and smashed my phone screen.

Managing to message Suranga through the shattered screen, I asked whether there might be a place to fix it during our tightly-packed itinerary. There wasn’t. So we ended up navigating the bustling streets of Pettah, a well-known Colombo neighbourhood, a few days after the tour had ended, searching for a phone repair shop.

Suranga had kindly insisted on helping me, and so we made a day of it. We swung by the iconic Barefoot Garden Cafe a short drive away to drink thæmbili (the king coconut that’s native to Sri Lanka), have coffee, and enjoy some lunch after dropping off my phone. We talked non-stop for the entirety of our time together.

Freed from the structure of the tour, the dynamic shifted, and at the end of that day, I realised I felt quite sad about saying goodbye to him.

Over the next few weeks, we met a couple more times, and I decided to extend my trip since I was keen to head up to Jaffna, in the far north of the island and check out some little-visited statues, including a seventh-century limestone Buddha hidden in the jungle in Maligawila, close to Monaragala. And of course, I couldn’t come to Sri Lanka without visiting the ancient city of Anuradhapura.

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As my stay extended to a few solo months on the road, Suranga and I texted or talked every day, occasionally meeting when our schedules aligned. There was definitely something special simmering under the surface, but we were treading lightly, both reluctant to put ourselves on the line.

Then, around six months after we first met, we decided to make a real go of it. To navigate differing cultures, expectations and the practical complications that come with both.

More than two years later, I’m still here, and our relationship continues to evolve. We’ve travelled to many more places together, both keen to explore the little-showcased or written about parts of the country together. He introduced me to curious Mannar, with its roaming long-eared goats, and the place where Sri Lanka’s largest baobab tree can be found. We’ve also explored the country’s largest National Park, Wilpattu, waking at 4am to photograph birds and mischievous monkeys.

Suranga’s dry humour and the breadth of his knowledge continues to inspire me daily; while he jokes that I now know more people in the country than he does, since I travel around the island a lot for work.

Sri Lanka confirmed that group travel definitely isn’t for me. I’m not a big fan of rigid, structured trips, and enjoy travelling at a slower pace – seeing sites away from the usual tourist trails. But stepping outside of my comfort zone and experiencing a different way of doing things led me to someone I would never otherwise have met.

It just goes to show that sometimes taking the wrong path can lead you to exactly to where you need to be.

Read more: Solo travel is mainstream – here’s why solitary travel takes more nerve

How to do it

The knowledge of a licensed national guide is highly recommended when visiting Sri Lanka’s cultural triangle, taking a safari or hiking in remote parts of the country. A full list of chauffeur guides and national guides is available at Srilanka.travel and each provides a vast array of historical and cultural knowledge.

SriLankan Airlines flies direct from London Heathrow to Bandaranaike International Airport in about 11 hours, from £787 return.

Where to stay

A boom in well-designed boutique hotels now means that choosing accommodation can be overwhelming. After staying in over 60 of the country’s most beautiful hotels, there are a few that I always recommend to fellow solo travellers.

In Colombo, Ishq has a handful of rooms and provides an intimate city stay. While Galle Fort Hotel has a swimming pool and good food. Meraki on the south coast is one of my favourite hotels close to the beach. The Warden’s House is the place to book for quieter safaris through Yala National Park. Kalkudah Beach House on the East Coast provides flawless stays from start to finish. Nine Skies near Ella offers tea plantation views without the crowds. Finally, for a homely haven in Jaffna, try Jetwing Mahesa Bhawan.