Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: A Sleep Physician on Why You Keep Scrolling Instead of Sleeping

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In the age of optimization, many of us are thinking about our sleep in terms of scores and metrics. Whether you’re a wearable devotee or a skeptic, we all know how important sleep is. But sometimes, no matter how tired we are, we just can’t get off the couch to get to bed. One minute it’s “one more episode.” Then it’s “5 more minutes” scrolling. Suddenly, it’s been hours and a quick round of mental math confirms what we already know: We’re not going to get enough sleep.

So why do we self-sabotage when it comes to our sleep? We tapped Dr. Cheri D. Mah, MD, MS, an internationally recognized sleep physician and research scientist, to understand more about sleep hygiene and how to create a realistic, expert-approved nighttime routine that will get you into bed and help you beat revenge bedtime procrastination, once and for all.

What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?

“Revenge bedtime procrastination” is the buzzy name for a feeling many of us are familiar with: delaying sleep to get some extra time for ourselves at the end of the day.

The problem is that, for most of us, we end up sabotaging our sleep, choosing cheap dopamine over restorative rest, and regretting it in the morning—then starting the cycle all over again.

Many of us sacrifice sleep, she finds, to get ahead of school or work. Then add in revenge bedtime procrastination, and it’s no wonder rest feels so hard to come by. But according to Dr. Mah: “Getting enough sleep lets you show up as your best self,” she says. “Sleep is one of the most underutilized, untapped competitive advantages.”

How can we stop the cycle of wasting one of our most precious resources? The first step is figuring out what’s behind our revenge bedtime procrastination to begin with.

What Causes Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?

Unlike insomnia or hormonal changes like perimenopause, revenge bedtime procrastination isn’t a medical phenomenon—but a mental one. We delay our bedtime as a way to feel in control of our time.

This isn’t when we push sleep to catch up on work, when our lives creep into our bedtime, or when we linger a little longer with our loved ones at a dinner out. It’s when all the conditions are right for sleep, and yet, we keep delaying it.

When Slack is silent and the kids are down, many people feel the need to take advantage of the hours to themselves. But instead of spending those hours intentionally, many of us don’t even notice the time passing until we’ve blown past our bedtimes.

And according to Dr. Mah, having a “bedtime” is more important than we think. “Most healthy adults need about seven hours of sleep,” she says. But she notes that when you go to sleep is just as important as how long you actually sleep in the first place. “Consistency is more essential than we thought,” she says.

We know we need to start respecting our bedtimes. But how do we find the motivation to get to bed when it’s late at night and our decision fatigue wants us to make the easy choice (keep scrolling) rather than the hard one (do our full nighttime routine)?

How to Stop Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

According to Dr. Mah, adhering to a bedtime doesn’t mean sacrificing control—it’s actually a way of giving yourself more of it. “You can still have that ‘you time’ while prioritizing sleep,” she advises. “Build it into your routine.”

To address the why behind your sleep scaries, try a self check-in. Audit where in your life you feel overly-stressed or out of control. Even if it’s not something you can quantify or control, naming the root cause behind the feeling can help you feel more empowered.

For Dr. Mah, beginning to address this stress and get better sleep starts with one mindset shift: “Think of sleep not as the end of today, but the beginning of tomorrow.”

Bedtime is a gift you can give that stressed tomorrow self. Ahead, Dr. Mah provides some tips on how to get ahead by starting with sleep.

Daily Habits for Better Sleep

A good day starts with a good night’s sleep, but a good night’s sleep starts during the day.

“Small changes add up over time,” says Dr. Mah. “We need to treat sleep like a priority”—and that starts the moment we wake up.

1. Get sunlight first thing.

“Open your blinds. Have your breakfast by the window. Step outside, go for a walk,” says Dr. Mah. Getting light in your eyes within the first two hours of waking helps to set our body clock, giving us energy for the day and setting us up for a good night’s sleep. If you get up before the sun (first of all, good for you!), then try technology like light-therapy glasses or sunlight lamps.

2. Have a caffeine cutoff time.

Bad news: Caffeine affects our bodies, even if we don’t feel it. Whether it’s the afternoon coffee to power through that last hour at work or the Mexican Coke at dinner, caffeine stays in our system for “8.8 hours.” Dr. Mah recommends having your last caffeinated beverage nine hours before bed.

3. Don’t work in bed.

“Your bed should only be for sleep and sex,” says Dr. Mah. Once you train your brain that you can answer emails or open your laptop in bed, your brain stops associating your bed with sleep. If you keep your bed sacred, your brain sees getting into bed as a cue for shutting down, not thinking of how to reword that last email.

4. Get some movement in.

Tire yourself out! Regular workouts give you energy during the day and help tire you out for bedtime. Any increase of activity works—you don’t have to go from 0 to 100. Get more steps in. Do a short workout online. Try out exercise snacks. Whatever works for you.

A Realistic Wind-Down Routine to Beat Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

Though we turn to supplements to go to sleep, Dr. Mah emphasizes the importance of sleep hygiene in creating a good bedtime routine and setting ourselves up for success. Our routine should be consistent to help cue our brains to shut down, but not so elaborate that we begin to dread it. “Sleep should be something you look forward to, not homework.”

Dr. Mah’s biggest tip for creating a nighttime routine is to start slow and simple.

“Aim for 15 minutes more sleep tonight,” she challenges. “We can all do 15 more minutes. We can all do a 10-minute wind down routine.”

This is the wind-down routine she recommends:

1. Process your thoughts.

Struggle with racing thoughts and an overwhelming mental list when you get into bed? Get those thoughts out before you even get into bed, says Dr. Mah. “Write a to-do list. Journal. Just make sure to do it outside of bed.”

2. Enjoy five-10 minutes of a relaxing (screen-free) activity.

Pick something you enjoy! Again, bedtime should be something you look forward to, like reading a physical book or doing a crossword or getting into crochet. Anything goes as long as it’s not on a screen.

3. Curate your sleep environment.

It’s not just about your bed. Your whole bedroom should be cave-like, according to Dr. Mah. Make your room cool, quiet, and dark. And (you saw this coming) don’t keep your phone in your room if you can help it.