Alexandra Madison Wants Parents to Stop Pretending To Be Perfect

Alexandra Madison has built a community of more than 10 million followers by being silly, vulnerable, and simply telling the truth. 

As a creator, storyteller, and podcast host who is now almost a year into motherhood with her husband Jon and their daughter Lucy, she's excited about using their large platform to highlight the ever-changing daily landscape that is parenting in a modern world. 

"Social media can be both a lifeline and a source of pressure for today's parents," says Morgan Cutlip, PhD, an expert in psychology and managing the parental mental load. 

"While online communities can reduce isolation and offer reassurance, the highly curated nature of parenting content often fuels comparison and self-doubt. When parents are constantly exposed to idealized versions of family life, it can distort expectations and undermine confidence, even when they're doing exactly what their child needs."

As a mom myself, I was excited to hear Madison’s unfiltered take on parenting in front of millions while keeping her family’s values front of mind.

Making parenting real, messy, & relatable

Parenting is anything but glamorous. Dried oatmeal stuck to the table from who knows when, a sink full of dishes (and paintbrushes), piles of toys and “collections” on every possible surface. I have just one child, and I can’t comprehend the amount of rocks (and underwear?!) distributed throughout my house. 

With that in mind, I wanted Madison’s take on how perfectionism runs rampant on social media and how creators like her are trying to help parents feel seen in their messy, yet beautiful lives. 

She admits the pull toward curation is real. "It's just natural to not want to show the messy corner of my house, to not want to shoot in the kitchen when it's completely dirty and there's dishes in the sink," she told me. "But that's real life for most people, especially in the season of life that we're currently in."

According to a recent survey from Abbott, maker of Similac, 81% of parents say social media creates an idealized or unrealistic view of parenting, and Madison hopes to be part of the solution. "By not sharing those things, we're creating this unrealistic expectation," she said. "We don't have a perfect pristine house. There's toys everywhere. We're still figuring out Lucy's sleep schedule and trying new recipes for her and all these different milestones." 

How wild that we’re living in a time where showing the realest human side of things is a rebellion of sorts.

Madison is also candid that having help is part of the picture, too. "We wouldn't be able to put out content at the volume that we do if we didn't have help," she said. "Our nanny was sick yesterday and called out and we're running around like chickens with their heads cut off, but I was like, this is real life." 

How to avoid comparison culture

Comparison culture didn't start with social media, but I know I’m not the only one that feels it has taken it to another level. While I’ve happily settled into my daughters mismatched clothing choices and limited acceptance for hair styling, I’d be lying if I didn’t say seeing a social post of curated neutral family outfits in a gorgeous backyard with everything just right didn’t hit my comparison button once in a while.

So I’m not totally surprised that 55% of parents worry about being judged if their choices don't align with what they see online, and I appreciated hearing that Madison doesn’t take her responsibility as a content creator lightly.

After going through a very public pregnancy loss, she had to actively work to stop measuring her life against others'. "I was like, why does my life not look like that? Why am I going through this?" she recalled. “And I couldn't live there." 

She had a reckoning of what she could and couldn't control. "The certain things that I could control were not comparing myself to others," she said.

That ultimately shaped the way she shows up online. "Going through that loss is why we chose to show up in such a vulnerable way, because I knew that if I'm feeling these feelings, I'm sure other people are feeling these feelings as well."

She’s quick to note it's a work in progress. "Your natural instinct is to be like, wait a minute, that's not my life, let me compare myself to this person. But it's not reality."

There's no one right way to parent

One of the most consistent themes in Madison's content is that the moment you start measuring your parenting against someone else's, you're headed for trouble. "You're working with individuals," she said. "My baby is so different from my sister-in-law's. You're doing a disservice to yourself once you start comparing your experiences because it is so unique to your own."

Cutlip puts it plainly, "What parents benefit from most are authentic, realistic stories and supportive communities, on and offline, that make space for imperfection and affirm that there is no single right way to parent."

Madison just tries to focus on what matters most. "There is no right way to parent when you're doing your best," she said. And when something raw or imperfect she posts resonates in the comments, it confirms how universal these parenting experiences are, both the hard and the wonderful. 

"The mom guilt, the tiredness, just the day-to-day, the all-encompassing emotions that being a parent takes on you. Everyone is feeling that on some level."

When I asked about the most surprising part of parenting, Madison was quick to light up and share, “I had seen this talked about before having kids, but I didn't believe that I would be so in love and so obsessed with her. I knew I would love my own kid, but the way in which I look at her and want to eat her legs. I didn't realize how much my heart would expand the way that it has.” 

Her partnership with Similac's Love Without Measure campaign grew naturally from that belief, a message she says speaks directly to stopping comparison culture and spreading the idea that perfect parenting doesn’t exist and that love reigns supreme. All that matters is that your child is loved, fed, safe, and that you’re doing your best in any given moment.

The takeaway

Show the dirty dishes. Admit you have help. Stop holding your real life up against someone else's highlight reel. In a media landscape where curated perfection is still the default, honesty might be the most useful thing a parent can see.